S1:E27 – Starting Over at 50: Life After Divorce, Midlife Reinvention & Finding Joy Again with Santa Papa John

All right, welcome, everybody, to another episode of the Divorcing Strong. I'm Becky Sampson. I'm your host. And this is always a really joy for me to bring guests, the people that I find out in the world, in the community, that have not only a story about divorce, but have some thoughts that they would like to share with others on their journey through the divorce. And this one was a very unique experience. I went to a networking event several weeks ago, and believe it or not, I ran into Santa. We were in a networking, and we were put in the same room. And immediately I was like, oh, you've got to tell me your story of how you came to be Santa. And then he turned to me and he was like, what do you do? And I'm like, well, I help people through divorce. And he's like, oh, I've got a story. And I'm like, okay, you're coming on. So we're excited to have this episode. Today. We're going to be interviewing. I'm going to be interviewing Santa Papa John. And we want to welcome you to the show. Welcome, welcome.

Ho, ho, ho, ho. Welcome. Good afternoon, good evening, good morning, wherever you're listening for and sit down, hold on, because the sleigh bell is about to take off and you're about to have an experience that you're not gonna believe.

I know. I love it. And you know what else I really love about you is that right off the get go, because I will be honest with you. When I first saw it, I was like, what is he doing in a networking event? And next thing I know, the minute you start talking, it's just your spirit, your come. Um, just your Persona and wanting to help and serve a lot of people really was impressive to me. So thank you so much for being willing to come on and. And share some of that story and that. That.

Well, absolutely. And we'll. We'll put a challenge out to your audience right off the bat. It's one of my big missions right now is share a smile with someone you don't know today because you never know the backstory. And. And we all know it's a pretty ugly world out there, but if we share a smile with someone, the smileology of the world will increase by how many fold every day?

I know. I love that. I was looking through some of your stuff online and I was just like, this guy is the real deal. He's awesome. So thank you so much for inspiring expiring. Inspiring people. So. So go ahead and tell us kind of like what we've got some really fun little stories. But tell us kind of what got you to this point. Where are you from? You're actually Minnesota, right, In Minnesota?

I'm a Canadian.

Yeah.

I moved from Canada to Minnesota with my previous wife. And that was 25 years ago this February. I mean, time flies. And, you know, I'm a truck driver by trade. I've got 3 million miles under my belt in a big truck. I've seen probably 40 states. I haven't actually counted, but I think it's got to be close to 40 states of the U.S. and I think six or seven provinces of Canada, from Montreal all the way to the West Coast. So I've seen a lot of North America, and, you know, it's an amazing country out there if you spend a little bit of time challenging yourself to go interact with it.

So you're a true Santa. Like, you've traveled the world?

I have. I've traveled the world. I've been to the UK when I was a young lad. And the one story that makes everybody giggle is Trafalgar Square in London is a huge square that it usually has a million people in it. I got lost there when I was nine somehow. Well, I got separated from mom and dad. We all went on a family vacation, and I got separated from the family, and I ended up at the Canadian Consulate, which is across the street, and that's where mom and dad found me.

So that was probably terrifying as a little kid.

Well, you would think so. And, you know, but, you know, like, we started in our conversation earlier on, I can walk up to anybody and have a conversation with anybody, and I could do that as a child, and sometimes it got me into a lot of trouble, and sometimes it saved my butt from being in a lot of trouble. So, you know, there's pros and cons to having a proverbial big mouth.

Well, and that also helps in sharing the cheer with the world, because you have. One of the things that I probably don't struggle with is just talking to anybody and everybody, like you just said. Well, it's.

I've been a DJ for 40 years, so public speaking for me is second nature. You can put me in front of 50 people, 500, 5,000, 50,000 people, and let's go next. I just carry on the conversation like I'm talking to you, Becky.

Yeah. For most people, they would be terrified out of their mind. I know the same way, too. I.

The number one fear in North America is public speaking. It's not dying in a plane crash. It's not dying in a car crash. It's not whatever. It's public speaking. And that's where I come into my Santa gig. And I tell, you know, CEOs and I tell managers, hey, if you want Santa to come in and, and do some public speaking and give away some awards to your award winning employees, what an incredible memory that's going to create. And we're going to remember it because it's not the air. Well, it's just another award show and bah humbug, blah blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. But all of a sudden I show up on stage or I show up on the screen and I'm, you know, have a little speech prepared to give a word or a presentation to an employee that takes it to a whole different level.

You know, you and I actually have something in common and you don't even know this, but both of our spouses are the reason why we're doing what we're doing.

Oh, absolutely.

Before you go into that story though, I would love to hear one of the things. The reason why I asked you to be on this show is because you, when I told you I'm in the divorce space, you were like, oh my gosh, Becky, I've got this amazing story and I went through this crazy divorce and I'm like, immediately I turned to you and I said, okay, you're coming on the show, so tell everybody kind of back up a little bit. I know you've traveled around the world, but you've not been Santa up until recently. The last eight years ago. Yeah, eight years ago. So. So before you tell the story of why our spouses, like for you, why your spouse is the one that encouraged you to do this, like talk about your, your past spouse and kind of that process that you went through in that marriage and divorce.

Well, I was married for 34 years and you know, it was one of those relationships that should have not lasted more than five years. But you know, things for our children that, you know, I will never say I regret. I, you know, I love my children and I have five children and, and now with the new relationship, we've got eight children and 26 grands and.

Wait, eight more.

No, three more.

Okay, three more. Okay, I was gonna say three more to make eight.

But 26 grands and great grands that we love spending time with. But you know, the previous relationship, well, you know, you, you put up with things and you go through life because, you know, you want to protect the children.

Yeah.

Who did that and did that and kept Going and which is, which is

a very important thing. A lot of people do that, right. They stay in relationships, they don't want to be breaking. And, and there's all kinds of stats out there. I've been on some podcasts lately about stats of what it does to, to kids when you get divorced. So you're not alone in the fact that you would stay together for that reason. And, and I always mention to people, I'm not for divorce. However, it's. It happens, and when it happens, you got to be ready for it, so.

Yes, absolutely. So, you know, the divorce should have happened years before that, but, you know, it, it, it's kept going and kept going and, and we kept struggling and we kept going through things and finally we decided we pulled the string and that was it, we were done. And, well, I met my new wife. And the funny thing is, she was married for 32 years. Same thing to the wrong guy. Yeah, keep looking. In fact, we said it this morning. Can you imagine if we had been married together for now 40 years, what we would have accomplished? Because she's much more positive. She's much more a penny pincher, which is very interesting, you know.

Why do you say that?

Well, the other wife like to spend a little bit of money.

Yeah.

You know, and I'm not going to say too many nasty things about her. I, I've got.

Yeah, you've got kids then. And that's. So what's interesting too is I also am a real believer that even though you don't end up with someone, you can still honor them for the gift and for the journey that you were on with them. So I'm really not for bad mouthing or, you know, because we really are on our own journey and you've got kids and you have grandkids, and it's important to still stay positive about that.

Right.

So especially when you're public.

Right. And, you know, with my Persona being as happy as, as I am, I try to turn the page on that previous history and say, yeah, I, I've just stepped up my game a lot better now that I'm into the new game. And, you know, how we met online. And the fun thing is I, I sent her a picture without this.

Oh, oh, you mean your new wife. You met her online and you didn't have a beard.

Then I showed up with this and she went, yeah, hi, Santa. And I went, nope, sorry, you got the wrong guy. She says, what do you mean? I said, I hate Christmas. She says, say what? She said, nobody hates Christmas. I says, you didn't meet my ex. And I go. So she says, all right. So the short story is she hands me a handful of candy cane one day and says, next time you're walking through the big stores and you hear some kids squawking, go talk to him now. You know, a typical male, handful of candy, thinking about kids, little girl, do you want some candy? I said, I'm going to go to fricking jail. Kicks me in the shin. And we giggle and laugh, and we still, to this day, laugh a lot in our relationship, which is amazing, which

is what is healthy. My husband and I are the same way. We're so playful. Yeah.

Yep. Absolutely. We go to bed, and we got to giggle and laugh before we go to sleep, because otherwise we don't go to sleep. It's kind of funny.

Yeah.

So I'm walking through one of the big box stores one day, and I've got a handful of candy cane. Now I've got a big black winter coat on, black pants, black tennis shoes on. There's no red, there's no white. The only thing that white is this right here. And I hear some kids squawking. And I went, well, I guess if I'm going to try this, now's my opportune time. I walk corner and there's three little kids in a cart, and they're doing this to mom, right? And Mom's all stressed out because she's trying to get presents for the kids or whatever the case may be, and blah, blah, blah. And I went, hey, are you supposed to be squawking back to mom like that? And I shut up. Well, they swung their heads around and they looked at me, and they looked at mom, and they looked at me, and they looked at mom, and they went, santa, what are you doing here?

They recognized you.

I am on a mission to put some kids on the naughty list. Well, their eyeballs went from about this big already to about this big, going, no, Santa, no, no, we're sorry. I said, don't say sorry to me. Say sorry to mom. We're sorry, Mom. We're sorry, Mom. We're sorry. And I says, well, that's much better. I says, isn't she shopping here for you guys? Well, yeah, but we're tired and we're hungry. And I went, suck it up, buttercup. I said, this is for you, so you gotta behave so the next time I pop around the corner, you're gonna behave so I won't have to put you on the naughty list.

I. I Have to. That. That was probably a real defining moment for you.

It really was. So I end up talking to a few more minutes and then of course you have to ask mom.

Yeah.

If they can have the candy cane. And she said yes. And I said, okay, kids. Yeah. You gotta start behaving a little better and you gotta start listening to mom and dad a little bit better. Would you like one of these? And of course they said, yes, yes, yes. So I talked to him for a few minutes and I said, okay, kids, Santa's gotta go talk to some more children. So you be. You never know when I'm gonna pop around the corner to do this again. Okay. Okay. Okay. You know, so on one hand it was extremely funny because kids were just absolutely blown away. On the second hand, it was like, huh, this Santa thing really actually works. And maybe, maybe I've got something here. And to tell you the truth, I have not looked back. It has changed my life. It has changed my world. It is the way I interact with people.

Yeah.

Because like I said before we got on to this, the world's a pretty ugly place right now. And there are some very confused children.

Yes.

Not only on how life is supposed to treat them, but the other stuff that people are throwing at them. So why can't kids be kids and smile and giggle and laugh and play outside and have fun, you know?

Yeah. And I, I love that point of this is, and that is something that we mentioned right before the. The show is that you were saying that really, because you're a full time Santa, you're like July Santa. We're in July. And, and what's cool about that is, is that you can have that spirit all the way through the year. And you bring smiles to kids because they think that you only come out once a year in December. And that's not true.

If you see this shirt, it sparkles and glitters and stuff like that. My. She, she's an amazing seamstress. She makes all my shirts. I've got like 25 of them like this.

Wow.

All different kinds. She hates taking me in the fabric store because I'll go, yeah, that one and that one and that one and that one. And she'll go, no and yes and no and. And she'll turn around and do her magic and she'll make these amazing shirts. So there is no hiding who I am.

Yeah. Well, do you feel like this is something that I was really interesting concept because we talked just a little bit about before the show is that you never thought that you'd Ever be able to have this kind of an impact? Probably. And be able to have this kind of a mission. And it took a second marriage for you to meet somebody that saw that in you?

Yes, absolutely. And now I've got well over 100,000 followers on social media.

Wow.

And, you know, it's. It takes some responsibility to act and behave and encourage people to get off their sorry, but because they're feeling sorry for themselves to say, hey, you're the only one that can change the world. So get up, be. Be smiling, be happy, be thankful, because there's someone in the world that's worse off than you. I do a daily video every day.

Yeah.

Put it on 12 platforms and I don't sell you. Get out of. Are you going to be cheerful and happy or are you going to be grumpy and miserable? You, you know, you run into a veteran, say, thank you for your service, thank you for your sacrifice. Run into a senior, say hello, ask them how they're doing, give them a smile. But it's all about positivity and happiness and encouragement and, you know, there's so much negativity in this world from abc, X, Y, Z points of view.

Right.

Why can't we be more happy with a positive point of view?

Which is so true. And we need more of that. I mean, that's really what you are, is a light to the world. And I love that the inspiration came from your wife and the support comes from your wife. Talk a little bit about that and how you really feel about that. I mean, it's very black and white. It sounds to me that you struggled, struggled, struggled. And now you're in a relationship and I never think that any relationship's perfect. However, now being in a marriage where you feel supported and you feel that excitement and joyfulness and playfulness, you know,

your other half has to be on the same wavelength and same as you are and support you and. And as well as you got to support them, there has to be a. What's the word? I'm looking for a very joint effort to support one another, whatever they're doing. And she is disabled. She's got three deteriorating discs in her back. So, you know, she's always wanted to be a housewife and what she ended up being, but, you know, there's days where she really struggles, but, you know, we giggle and we laugh and we do the best that we can to support each other, to help each other. And when she's having a down day, I, you know, we have a good conversation and and we. We try and help each other get out of those low doldrums that we have to. To bring us back up onto a happier plane. We're both very happy, joyful, positive people. Even with her body falling apart, in a simple way of saying it, you know, she still looks at life in. In a positive way. She looks at, you know, she makes, you know, 10 to 15 to 20 blankets, quilts every year so we can donate them to, you know, the Salvation army, to women's shelter, to, you know, church groups that give to women that have even less.

So she. She's kind of a Mrs. Claus. She is a Mrs. Claus.

Yep. She does. But she walks with a cane, so she doesn't want to scare the children. So she picks and chooses the. The venue, events that she wants to participate within, which is, you know, that. That's cool.

Yeah.

Well, I don't want to force her to do something that she doesn't want to do. And if she's hurting that day, that's just, you know, she can only force a smile for so long when she's hurting. So, you know, when she can choose the ones that she wants to participate in. When she's having a good day, it's an awesome time because there's times the children will go to her, because for some reason, there are children that are scared of Santa Claus.

I know. That's so crazy.

Yeah. And then there's times where, you know, she is, you know, she. She's a big grandma, so everybody loves her. And I'll quickly show you. Let's see if this works.

Oh, I like it. Oh, that's cute.

And she makes our outfits, and she's a very talented seamstress, you know, so.

So from that moment where you had that. That moment in the. In the store with those kids, have you ever looked back? Did you ever give her headache or did she goes, I don't you so, you know, type of thing?

No, not in that per se. But I do thank her and say that I'm very grateful that she turned me that way because of the experiences, the fun, the happy that I've created in other people's lives. Yes, it's absolutely amazing how I can share happiness with other people. And now with all the different products that I offer, I can do it worldwide. You know, technology like this allows us to have conversations with people around the world.

I know. Isn't that amazing?

At the kitchen table, having a cup of coffee?

Yeah. You know, you actually just brought up. I'm thinking in my mind right because we talked a little bit about this too. Is that before you got divorced or when you were going through your divorce? Like, speak to the. I mean, what were your thoughts of like, am I ever going to be in a relationship again or am I ever going to find love again or is anyone going to love me? Speak to that.

Like, I was, I was a truck driver.

Yeah.

And I was driving truck on the road and I was gone six out of seven days. I was running away. I was avoiding it. I was staying away on purpose. I would, you know, go see my family because I could do that in the truck. I was very lucky. I worked for a trucking company that allowed me to go to, to Canada to see my family. And, you know, the separation just started opening up and just becoming, becoming a bigger crater. And, you know, this was growing to despise her. She hated it. So.

Which rightfully so. Relationships need connection, right?

Yep.

And when we begin to disconnect, and sometimes that's hard, especially with the resentment or there's, there's stuff that's in between that's getting in that way when. And it's very normal. I'm not shaming you or anybody else that, that like, I know my first marriage, I worked like crazy. I worked at 2 or 3 in the morning. And looking back now I'm like, oh, yeah, of course I was running away. You know, I mean, I just didn't want. I didn't want to face what I want. Didn't want to face, you know.

Right. Yeah.

And I don't shame myself or beat myself.

We all make excuses.

Yeah.

Yeah. We make excuses to make our own lives better. Even though the relationship is falling apart.

Yeah. And. And did you ever, did you ever think that you would find love again?

I wasn't trying to. And it's amazing how things sort of fall into your proverbial lap and then all of a sudden you're, ah, this is only a, you know, it's. We're only dating. It's not going to go very far. And then it's. While we're, you know, the next thing, I'm buying a house and we're moving in. And you know, it's like, oh, okay, we're taking you to the next step. And then we're doing this and then we're doing that. And that's like. Then you look back and go, wow, it's been seven years already that, you know, going on eight years. And life has been incredible. And the changes that I. And you know, picking up on her little Ideas that make her happy going, you know, we have a house where we've got critters in the backyard, and we. She likes to feed the squirrels and squirrels, and then we have rabbits and. And then we have all the birds and we have woodchucks, and it's just sitting, appreciating the wildlife, how it can take you to a different level of your own mindset, your own happiness. And it's. She wanted to be out in the country, and I wanted to be in the city. So if you look at the front of our house, I. I get the city, but then if you look at the back of the house, she gets the country. So it's kind of a. Yeah, the compromise was incredible. And. And the funny thing is, the funny. The front part of our house is there's three little windows that are 2ft by 2ft. And the back house. Back part of the house has. You know, our living room window has three windows that are 3ft by 8ft. Dining room, two bay windows that are almost 7ft across. So it's all windows to the back part of the house. So it's pretty awesome that, you know. And then when you back right onto the Mississippi river, but the bushes are between there, so you can see it sparkling in the sunshine in the evening. So it's beautiful. But, yeah, we're right in town, and yet we have this amazing whole different life from the front house to the back of the house. It's night and day on the life that exists there.

Well, so here's the question that. That's coming to my mind now. Well, first of all, I love nature. Right? I came from. From on this. On this marriage. Now. I actually came from Hawaii swimming in the ocean for like two hours a day to now in the country where we have two cows and one about to have a baby any day. And so it. Nature has always been something that's really important to me, but I do. I am a true believer that everything in our lives happens for a reason. I'm just kind of looking back on your life. What do you think has impacted or makes or has you. Allows you to feel the most amount of joy doing what you're doing now based on what you've experienced?

You know, it's not just children that I bring joy and happiness to. Last year, I was in a big grocery store doing one of my gigs, and I had two sisters. They had to be one. I'm gonna guess and assume one was 68 and one was 70. I said, come on, ladies, Santa's got two big knees for each one of you. You know, Santa, we haven't sat on Santa's knees since, you know, for almost 60 years. I said, so what's stopping you? And they stopped and they looked at each other and they giggled and they said, you're absolutely right. Nothing is stopping us. And they sat on my knee and they were giggling and laughing because I brought them back to a wonderful childhood memory that they were able to share as sisters. So, you know, it was one of my prouder moments of sharing some happiness. And it wasn't children. These were adults that are well into their senior years. But I just looked at them and I said, what is stopping you?

You know, what I love about that story is that you're in tune enough to pay attention and look for opportunities to make a difference in someone's life.

Well, the fact is we go through life, yeah. On a plateau, maintaining an image, maintaining a look to please someone else. When I said that question to him, I could see the sparkle in their eyes. And they looked at each other and they giggled. So I'm going, aha. I turned the page for these two.

Yeah.

They would have never thought, thought to sit on my knee to giggle and laugh until I posed the question to him. Why not?

Right.

You know, so, so you're challenging people. Yeah, I'm challenging Giggle master. You're challenging people too. And you know, I've been told once I get my full suit on, I look like a 30s, 40s Santa. So for a lot of these people, I'm bringing back some serious childhood memories.

Yeah.

Which for most people is a wonderful time in their life. And maybe they're going through some things in their life right now that they don't want to, you know, admit or be proud of or whatever the case may be. But if they go back to their childhood, they can remember the laughter, the smiles, the giggles that they, they had and shared with a sister or, or a friend or whatever the case may be. And that's what I'm doing with my videos. You know, I love it. Happy Birthday videos out all around the world. And I've sent them to 2 year olds, to 82 year olds. Wow. And the lady that booked me for the 82 year old, one of the stories was, what do you get a great grandmother that has everything? Well, a custom story. I've sent them to Amazon executives, you know, and I've sent them to, you know, Google executives and, and other people that are going, this is going to put a smile on their face because this is not something that they're expecting. They, this is going to make them smile and forget their stressful life that they may be living at the moment and maybe bring back some positive, happy, cheerful times from their childhood. So, you know, it's stories to the children. And you know, I've got well over 100 stories on YouTube right now, which has inspired coloring books, T shirts, you know, so I'm a very forward thinking Santa to help broaden the horizons of your normal thinking because everybody nowadays is too busy to enjoy a smile.

Well, I, you know what? A thought comes to my mind many years ago when I was working on my first book. I was at a park. I was actually rewriting the beginning of my book and I was watching these little kids at the park play in the sand and they were getting dirty and wet and like all this water and just. They didn't care. They didn't care. And so I started my book off with like, what happened to us? Because I was also that type of person when I was a little kid. I was. So my mom jokes that she got one leg up on the operating table and I popped out. I was like, that's it. Like, welcome to the world, Becky. You know, like this is, you know, or welcome the world to Becky. But I, I just came out just playing and playful and joyful and everything. And then life hits, right? And then, well, you know, I started going inward and I think that's the

case day and age. Unfortunately, society is dictating. Yeah, parents have to raise their children. Most parents are working one job, if not two jobs to keep up with the Joneses. And there are people that live by that rule. And they forget about having fun. They forget about their children having fun. They forget about how life was so simple 20, 30, 40 years ago. And I'm opening up that page to them, remembering some of those fun activities, some of those fun ideas that they used to love to do, do. And for some people, it's a, it's a very hard time because maybe they didn't have the best of childhood.

Right.

There was sparks in that childhood that they go back and think about that this day or this week or this month was awesome because of X, Y and Z. Now my life is so busy that I can't afford to do this or that or something else with my own children. And unfortunately, society is really putting a lot of pressure on parents. I'm glad I don't have young children right now. I feel scared for my grandchildren at times because the world is just a very scary, goofy place right now, that is throwing out some very bad vibes and very bad nasty habits and problems that are growing exponentially.

Well, and I like that what you do does bring it back to the basics. Right.

You know, you.

You're able to have them have a little glimpse of that moment where they were having fun and they could be themselves.

Absolutely. Absolutely. And, you know, the. The. Like I said earlier on, if we all shared a smile, if we all stopped for a moment, took a deep breath and. And said, wait, I. I need to slow down and stop for a moment. I can change my life and I can change my children's lives because I stop for a moment to take a breath of air.

Well, that's something that I don't think a lot of people. I learned for myself. It took me many, many years of, you know, peeling the layers of my own onion to figuring out who I am and where I'm comfortable in my own skin. Because for some reason, it's one of the most difficult things in life for most people. For some people, not so. But for most people to really feel comfortable in their own skin. And I gather that's kind of where you're at now, because you're just like, wow, look who I could become. And I'm now seeing the impact that you're making in people's lives and being able to bring them to that point. I think that life is. Is meant to be experienced, and we are all given different callings. And what I love most about your story is that it was your wife that really recognized that.

Yeah.

And was like, oh, my gosh, look,

I don't want to do. I don't want to say I'm a Pied Piper, but I think what you said and how you just said it is I am a gateway of opening to remembering who they are, who they are, and how they enjoyed life at a different time in their life.

Yeah.

And that.

Did you ever think that you could do that, being Santa?

You know, this Santa journey? I'll tell you in.

In.

Since I got laid off from the truck driving, you know, 20 months ago, it has changed even more than it has in the eight years that I've been doing it naturally. I mean, the relationships that I'm building around the world.

Yeah.

You know, and you'll get a giggle out of this one. My record in November was I talked to a person in seven days from 23 different countries. Wow.

But see, that's what. That's what our world is now. I mean, we literally can meet people from all over the world.

Just like this. But you're. Every time you start. Not every time, but during this conversation, you're pointing back to the fact that I am opening up the happy window for a lot of different people in their time frame of their life around the world. And for some people, that can be a huge window that they forgotten about until it's put in front of their face.

Well, and the beautiful thing is Santa, if I may call you Santa, is you don't have to be anybody but who you are. Like, you show up in this Persona and in your light, and it changes people. Yeah, that's like the magic. That really is the magic.

This is one of the shirts. I know we talked about the. Before the recording, but this is one of the shirts my wife makes for me now when I walk through a store. This is how I dress all the time. I've got about 25 of these different shirts that, you know, says, hey, yes, this is really who I am. So there's no disguising. This is real. It's been there for a long time. So, you know, it's not only kids that are, you know. You know, you get the kids tugging on mom and Dad's sleeve and Coke and going, you know, it's him, it's him. But then you get the parents doing the same thing going, hi, Santa. Just get a bright eyes and a big smile on their face, and you can tell, even for a brief moment, that I've brought them back to a happier time in their life.

I was going to say you probably do more even, or as much impact on the parents as you do the kids, because we really have lost this fun factor. It's funny because my. My husband, now his beautiful granddaughter, who's 7 years old, almost 8 years old from the minute I met her, I. I'm. I grew up at a summer camp for kids my whole life. So I've always been about fun. Like, if fun's not involved, I'm not. I'm not in it. You know what I mean? It's just. And she immediately called me Becky Fun Reimer. Like, so I married. My married name's Reimer, but she always called me Becky Fun. Like. And then after a while, she thought it'd be really funny to go, well, your middle name is Boring. And I'm like, yeah, I'll show you boring.

Yeah, there you go.

But fun has been a big thing for me now.

Now, the. The interesting part is I'll send you a picture, and you can pull a picture off. You can put that on your phone and say, well, you know young lady, I know Santa personally. I know on his nice list you got to change your attitude. And the funny thing is I have friends and acquaintances all around the world that say I do that to my children. And it works well.

I will say, Santa, this, just this last weekend for the first time, she's almost eight, for the first time she told me that Santa is not real. So she's been told by Santa's not real. And I'm going to have to show her this show and she'll be like, oh my gosh, he really is there.

Exactly. And you know, it's, it's funny because this morning I was on a networking group from the UK and I get on the camera and this lady starts giggling. And I look at her and I'm going, she's giggling at me because she doesn't know who I am. Well, lo and behold, first breakout went window. I get with her and she still started giggling. So I said, okay, let's have a conversation. And by the end of the six minutes she's going, I never knew you, you have changed my perspective. You changed my way of thinking. Wow. And you've only done it in six minutes. And you've, I said I've made you smile and I made you change your way of thinking about life, haven't I? And she said, yes, you have. And I'm going, now let's have a real conversation. Let's set up a one on one so we can do 45 minutes. And she goes, that would be amazing.

Oh, I have to say I am so glad that you found somebody in your life that, that lit that spark, right? Let that spark in you. Continues to like the, it sounds to me that she continues to be like, hey, you got this, honey, you got this.

Oh yeah, she, she, she firmly believes, she backs me up on all my ideas and she even throw you in some ideas of her own. And every now and then she has to go whoa, big Santa, whoa. On that idea a little bit. But you know, she's, she's my level grounded, positive cheering force that, you know. And you hear a lot of marriage counselors, a marriage, a lot of positive business people say if you don't have a positive influence wife, you're not going to be butting heads.

And well that's, that's a really, really good point. And let me just share you real quick and this will illustrate the very point is my very first husband, we both were entrepreneur. Like he, he had a carpet cleaning business. But, and I was Working full time in an apartment complex. But I would come home and I would micromanage him. Like, I was not the positive, supportive wife back then. I just wasn't in a good space, had space, spiritual space, everything for me, physically and emotionally, and it was a complete disaster. Now it's interesting now, being married to somebody who is not an entrepreneur, right? Like, he has. He. He's very, very smart and very intelligent and thinks through things and can give me ideas. But I remember trying to just a couple weeks ago, I'm like, oh, I want you to go on these meetings with me with all these business people. And. And then I realized he would be bored out of his mind. But you know what? That's what excites me. To spend four hours with somebody and. And talk about business and ideas and marketings and all that stuff. It would kill him. And. And so I think that you brought up a really great point, is, is that every entrepreneur, because we're high in the sky, excited and going out there and stuff, we need someone to hold us to the ground and to ground us. Not in a bad way, but just to be like, hey, you might want to consider this. You might want to consider that. You might. And that's exactly what I'm experiencing now in this relationship. And I tell people all the time, look for somebody that you are compatible with, that you work together. You don't have to be the same. I had to step back and realize, okay, I don't need my husband to be me, because I. He's not. I mean, I've even tried to get him to come on the podcast, and he's like, no, I don't want. I don't want cameras. I don't want all that stuff. I'm like, that's okay. They're just. He's just different. He's different. And I totally honor that.

Well, our people. People.

Yeah.

And when you can realize that in your relationship, you don't force people to do things that they don't want to do.

Exactly.

My wife's name is Becky, too.

Are you serious?

Yep.

Oh, I love it.

Well, it's Rebecca, but we call her. Everybody calls her Becky.

Okay, so is it CCA or Kah.

CC.

Okay. I'm CCA 2. Good.

Yep. But she comes online every now and then when I'm on the Kids with the kids on TikTok, and the kids love her, but it's not her thing.

Yeah.

And I. The kids want her to come back on, and. Nope. It's just. She's not in the mood. She's not in the right headspace to, to be the happy, positive person that she needs to be to come online. And I mean, there's. I could show you pictures where she decorates my beard and it's hilarious and, and the kids just love it. And we' even put lights in there and light it all up and, and it's just, it's one of those things that you got to do when you're, you're on Tick tock and have fun and stuff like that. But I don't force her to come back online. I don't force her to come. I want her to make the decision, I want her to enjoy it, and I want her to see the positive that she brings when she does participate in an event. You know, and that's more important than like you say, your, your husband, he would be bored silly if he come on to an.

And he would drive me crazy because I'm like, oh, I would want him to be happy and I could see that he's not happy. And that's. That is again, you need to know the strengths and the weakness of both and honor it.

Absolutely.

Okay. It's okay.

Yes, absolutely.

Yeah.

You know, so it's a, it's a wonderful connection that we, we've developed now and you know, I'm very excited to see where this is going to go and for another, hopefully another 20, 25 years. My dad is 93, still living on his own, still driving, still does his own grocery shopping, still does his own cooking, and he's 93.

That's amazing.

Yeah. So we lost.

As we're concluding, I. You have to tell the story of why you, you said something right before we started the show that you grew your beard to tick off. Your wife.

My first wife? Yes.

Oh, your first wife.

My first wife. And then of course, you see how long my hair is? Yeah, well, my hair was halfway down my back.

With your first wife or your second wife?

My first wife.

First wife.

I've got three beautiful daughters and my hair was longer than all three of their hair.

Oh my gosh.

So I did that as the relationship was starting to go south and it was just one of those, haha, you don't like this? I'm going to do that because it's, it's human nature to, if you find the old proverbial crack in the wall, you utilize it and take advantage of it. And I did. And, and you know, and you have

to give yourself grace, Santa. You got to give yourself grace because there's A lot of emotions and feelings that one feels when they're going through a divorce.

Oh, absolutely. Yeah, absolutely. You know, and, you know, it was a very interesting time in my life and. And I lived in my truck for two years.

Yeah.

Goes, well, aren't you going to do this? Aren't you going to do something? And I said, well, I've got to pay off some debt first and I've got to save some money, so why not do that in my truck? It's not costing me anything. And then I'd go visit him and stay with him or my daughter or come back into town and I'd stay. I was able to save some serious money in a two year span and pay off some bills. So I'm pretty proud of that moment as well.

Yeah, you got to take the wins for the loss, right?

Absolutely.

One of my phrases that I always say is don't ever look back unless you're looking back to see how far

you've come, you know, and people say to me now, well, Christmas is over. I said, why are you looking backwards? Christmas is only 174 days away.

I love it. I love it.

There's a reason the windshield is bigger than the rear view mirror. And you hear people say that all the time. And that's exactly what you just said. Don't look backwards at your mistakes. Look back at what you've accomplished from your mistakes.

Exactly. And that's. So to circle it back to divorcing strong is that every single step of our lives and even our divorce too. I think sometimes when people are going through divorce, they feel like it's a permanent state of mind and of life. Like this is it, like that. This is the end. And I think you and I both. I'm so grateful that you and I, and there's other people I'm bringing on to this show as well, that show that there is this whole other life beyond divorce. And I don't know about you, but for me, because of the work that I did, because of the mindset, because of the keeping my heart soft even to my former husband, kept me in a place where I was allowed or I allowed myself to be open to a relationship that is now the most amazing relationship. Not perfect, but it is perfect for me and for him. And I'm now doing things to impact the world as well in my own way, just like you are in being a Santa. And I love, I absolutely love to see people. That's been always a thing for me since I was really, really young, is to see People living in their skin, in their purpose, in their calling, in their whatever it is that you've been brought to. Because I believe we all have light in us, and I love that that's what you do every single day, is you light people up. You really light people up. And I want to encourage you to keep doing that.

Oh, I have no intentions of changing. I mean, this is. This is a blessing for me. And I love making people smile and. And bringing out the happier moments in people's lives. Now, you said an important thing in that big statement that you just said. Divorce is not the end.

No.

Divorce is turning the page, a mistake that you made in your life. Now, you can either climb into the hole and regret and never move forward, or you turn the page and say, okay, how can I make myself better because of a mistake? You know, at the time when we got married, it was never a mistake. It was, you know, we were joyful, we were happy. We're positive. But we soon see after, you know, time this, that and everything else, that life happens. And, you know, it's incredible how people can either flip a coin on a mistake, a divorce, or whatever happens in their life and they can't move forward. Well, this is a prime opportunity to say to yourself out there, people, life does move forward, because it's a life choice. Right here. You're the one. It's like part of my everyday positive video. You get out of bed and you put your feet on the ground. Are you going to be miserable and grumpy or are you going to be happy and cheerful and positive?

Yeah, it is a choice. It literally is a choice.

Absolutely. And, you know, you are your own consequences from your choices. Yeah.

Yeah. And I don't think people really realize this, Anna, is that I don't think they realize how powerful. I should say some people don't. And I don't know if I did either. At some point in my life back then is I didn't realize that I had that much influence over how I saw the world. But when I finally figured it out and when I continue to. Because I'm not perfect, some days I wake up and I'm like. But there are, you know, I. The. What I think in my head and what I hold in my heart towards other people and how I choose to see the world really does make the world more joyful or makes it dark and miserable.

And we all go through those.

Absolutely.

What is it? Ebbs and flows.

Yep.

And, you know, there's. There's days where, you know, you sit Back and go, man, things are not going good. I'm not having a good day, I'm not having a good week, and I'm not making connections and I'm not having good conversations.

Yeah.

And then all of a sudden you have a conversation and boom. All of a sudden things change. And. And you know what? So, people, if you're thinking that the life. Your life is over because you made a mistake, turn the page.

Yeah.

Find someone else to talk to. Find a new hobby. Find something from your forward or from your past that puts a smile on your face. Because nothing works better on your brain cells that are in a negative mode right now than saying, hey, I love swimming. I haven't been swimming for a year. Let's go swimming. And all of a sudden you get in that lake or pool or water, wherever you're going, and all of a sudden it's like, wow, I haven't done this for a year. Why haven't I been doing this weekly? Because it's a mind choice that you're choosing not to do something to make you happy.

And when we change our state, like, whether it's our physical state or our mental state, things change.

Like, 90% of it is a mental state. Oh, I know people. And you know this statement as. As well as anybody else do. Step out of your comfort zone.

Yep.

And watch what happens.

Yep. Well, and you probably experienced that too. Is Santa right? Like, people are like. And then they. Then you see them stretch, right? They stretch into. Actually back into their little child, little playful, childlike person. And then they walk away enlightened. And I. It's just. How amazing is that?

I'll quickly say to your. Your audience, the story that I told you before we started about the two ladies. I was in the store last year, and these two sisters come up and they were talking to me. One was, they had to be 68 and 70. And I said, come on, ladies, sit on Santa's lap and let's get a picture. And they looked at each other and they said, santa, we haven't sat on Santa's lap in almost 60 years. I said, so what's stopping you? And that statement right there. They looked at each other and they got a big grin on their face and they went, okay, let's do this. Well, I had one of the staff member take a picture and I. Those ladies came back the next three days and they'd walk by me and they would be giggling going, santa, you put a smile on our face that we haven't seen in 60 years. Thank you for shaking up some wonderful memories. People. Step out of your comfort zone. Step out of your dull drum box and you never know what, what you're going to find and how you're going to react.

Oh, I love see and that's perfect way of ending this. That's exactly it. Step out of yourself and stretch into the fun, fun, joyful, childlike person.

What a wonderful conversation. Thank you.

Well, thank you so much, Santa, for being willing to come and share your story and share your hope. Really, I love that you, your story does show that there is life after divorce and there's a whole nother life that you stepped into. And now you're in your purpose. And it sounds like you're going to do this until you're done, you know?

Absolutely.

And you tell that sweet little Becky or Rebecca wife of yours hi from me and I will definitely circle around to you guys on social media and we'll have to stay connected.

So it's right there, Santa PapaJohn.com and all the social media is Santa, Papa John.

Awesome. Santa, Papa John. You got it. And you're full time. 365 days, Santa.

Absolutely. Yeah.

And I love it. Even if it's January 1st, it's 365. Four days to Christmas.

Absolutely. I do a countdown every day when I do my video. And we're at 174 days till Christmas. We are over halfway to Christmas.

Oh, my gosh. I love it. I love it. Thank you so much for coming on today.

This has been a blast. Thank you very, very much.

Yes. Thank you. Thank you. Well, hold on just one second. Okay. All right. Thank you guys for checking in with us with the divorcing strong again. I'm Becky Sampson. I'm the host. This has been an amazing hour of talking to Santa and talk the wisdom that he goes throughout this world and shares with little kids and adults, changing the world one adult and child at a time. Thanks to my. Thanks so much for checking in. And we will talk to you later. Bye.

Bye.