S1:E7 – SHARNICE KAMELLE PERRY “Domestic Violence & the Courts: How to Build Proof”

Welcome to Divorcing Strong, the podcast that pulls no punches when it comes to divorce. I'm Becky Sampson, better known as Bulldog Becky Brockovich, and I'm here to give you the straight talk, the strategies, and the subpoena secrets you won't hear anywhere else. With expert guests and proven advice, you'll learn your rights, your options, and gain your power that encourages a fair and equitable outcome. Divorce doesn't have to break you. It can build you. Let's get to it. Oh, and welcome. Welcome, everybody, to another episode of Divorcing Strong. I'm Becky Sampson, your host today. Wow, what a week. I have been connecting with such amazing. I did a, I did a live today that I was telling people just how amazing these people that are. I'm connecting with for this podcast because, you know, if any of you guys been watching, you know, my past experience through the legal system has made me very, very passionate about helping people navigate the legal system. Even though I'm not an attorney and I am, you know, not a paralegal or anything, I do believe education is power and knowledge is power in this in the system. So I'm excited about our next guest because I have been having a lot of attorneys on and every attorney has a different perspective, has a different story of how they came came to be. But I, as I was doing research on our guest today, I, I'm excited to hear this journey that she's been on. So today's guest is attorney Sharnice Perry. She is living proof that purpose and perseverance can, can turn passion into impact. With over 25 years of law firm experience, Sharnice's journey began as a teenager answering phones in a law firm and led her all the way to becoming a respected law firm, family law and estate planning attorney at OMB's Law, Pennsylvania. Driven by a lifelong passion for justice and helping families find peace, Charniece worked her way through every role in the legal field, receptionist to paralegal to attorney, earning her associate bachelor's and Juris Jurist doctorate along the way. While in law school, she led as president of the Black Law Student association and interned at the Campton courthouse assisting victims of domestic violence. Later, she founded her own family law practice, gaining recognition on her compassion and commitment to service, including pro bono awards and feature on Spectrum Bay 9 News in Tampa, Florida. So today, charniece continues to guide families through life's most emotional seasons, from divorce to guardianship to estate planning, and with heart for healing and a drive to exceed every client's expectations. So please help Me welcome a woman who embodies resilience, excellence, and self service. So welcome to the show. Chardice. So good to have you.

Thank you. Thank you. I'm so excited to be here.

Yes. And you know what? We were laughing as we, you know, we don't plan our little wardrobes here, but we. Your. Yours looks black and white, but it's blue.

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

We've got polka dots and stripes.

Stripes, right. I know.

Well, thank you so much for taking the time. I know being a divorce attorney, it's, you know, you probably have a lot on your plate, and I appreciate you coming and being willing to share your wisdom, your experience, and kind of your passion for serving your clients. So tell everybody a little bit about your history. What got you into this? We read a little bit about it, but just. I want to hear it from your own mouth of. Of your experience, and then we'll kind of get into a few questions that I think a lot of the listeners may have for you. Perfect.

Okay. So first and foremost, when I started law school, I had two rules. No criminal law, no family law, by

the way, I hear that all the time. Just so you know.

So it was a journey that I never expected to be on. Law school was a journey. I. I'm originally from Los Angeles, California, so I started in la. And in la, the law school world is way far different. In la, you have the non ABA schools, you have what's called California bar schools, and then you have the regular ABA schools.

Right.

I went to a California bar school which is pretty much linked to the California bar. So they're, as far as their California is concerned, they're fully accredited. They're fine. However, if you ever want to practice in another state, they may not accept that law school. Yep. So first year of law school, I did extremely well. I was fifth in my class. I went to Trinity Law in Santa Ana, California. I was in my class. I got invited to Law Review. I was like, well, hey, you know, maybe I shouldn't limit myself. What if one day I move out of California? I need to possibly transfer and go to an ABA that way. You know, I'm. It's recognized everywhere.

Yeah.

So I actually ended up doing that. Ended up moving from California, transferring to Florida so I could go to Cooley Law. They offered programs where you could break up your school and you could either take classes at night or in the day or even on weekends. And it was like one of the only law schools at the time that was allowing you to do that. And I needed that. Because I also had to work full time.

Right. Right.

At the time I was married, I have eight children. So. Yeah. So being able to work full time, go to school full time, be a wife, be a mom, it really required a lot of moving pieces and.

Wow.

Kind of made that work for me.

Yeah.

Well, fast forward to my last year in law school, and now I am going through a divorce. And I realized in that process, just sorting out that legal process and what it looked like, and in that process, I learned there are so many women, and probably men as well, who need help getting out of unhappy marriages, because it really affects your entire life. It affects work, it affects the relationship with the kids. A marriage, good or bad, plays a big role in your life. So as I tried to navigate that process, mind you, as a brand new law grad. So I had just graduated law school, I'm now waiting to take the bar, and now I'm representing my. Myself, pro se. Literally. My first case out of law school was my own divorce,

by the way. Yeah, I was gonna say, you don't know this about me, but I was also pro se for most of my second divorce. And so, yeah, I get your pain. And I wasn't going through law school, I was going through a divorce. So that was my schooling.

Yes.

But, yeah, talk about the hard knocks.

Oh, my God, that process, going through that process as a grad, and I'm like, if it's like this for me, I can only imagine what it's like for me. For other women, other mothers trying to get out, they don't know where to go, who to turn to, what to file. Yes, there's pro se documents. But now as an attorney, what I've learned is those pro se documents leave out a lot of important information.

Yes.

And so it led me down this road to where if there's anybody, man or woman, who's in a divorce and they don't know how to get out of it, but it is possibly ruining their whole life, their mental health. I want to be the one that helps them out of that situation.

Now you're just. Are you still. Are you licensed in California and Florida or just Florida?

Just Florida. Just Florida.

Just Florida. Okay. So, yeah. And. And every. So this is one thing that people are important is that if you're, if you're. You have to have an attorney in your jurisdiction, meaning in your state. Correct. To be able to. To do this. So I love that you are. You came at this because. And I love when I hear this story is like, look, I saw A problem. And I wanted to be part of the solution.

Cor.

And I love that you did that. So when, when you started your. So did you start right out of the gate with divorce? Like, talk a little more about your.

Not right off the gate. So my actual first attorney job was an insurance defense. And by the time I actually, because I graduated in 2018, but I didn't actually take the bar right away, I was in a situation because taking the bar, sitting, studying for the bar, literally, it's like having a full time job. Yeah. And I was, like I said, in a process, getting ready to go through this divorce. I couldn't even stop working to study for the bar. So I had to almost wait a whole year before I was in a better financial situation before I could even sit for the bar. And then I didn't actually get. Or we didn't get our results, and I didn't get the results until 2020 in the height of COVID My first job was an insurance defense in the middle of COVID At this point, I'm now divorced and the children go to like three different schools and every one of them is getting quarantined every single week. And this particular position that I had gotten required me to work in office. All the other attorneys worked from home. But the managing partner I was connected to, he only wanted to be in office. But it was, it was impossible because the elementary kids, three of them at the time in elementary, they were getting quarantined every other week and I couldn't leave them home alone.

So this is where your person, your persistence comes from. Right here.

Correct.

I, I mean, seriously, you really, what a, what an incredible child. And how old were your kids at the time, during all of this?

Man, Back then I think they were like, what is it, 20, 25 now? That was 2018. My youngest was probably like six. Wow. So I probably had a six year old, a nine year old, 11 year old, a 13 year old, a 14 year old. So there was a lot of coordinating. Yeah, a lot of coordinating. They went to different schools because someone's in high school. You know, one was in high school at a couple in middle, at least three in elementary. So they were all going to different schools, they were all on different buses. So it was just a lot of moving around. And when they would, if the, if the, if the quarantine happened from the school bus, then all three kids would be home, the elementary kids would be home. If it was per school, then one kid would be home. So it just, it wasn't Working for me to work full time in the office. In the height of COVID just being divorced, now it's all on me to handle everything. So I was remembering what it was like going through that divorce and remembering, like I said, if, if it's, if I'm going through this, there are other women somewhere sitting in an unhappy marriage who want to get out to. This is what I'm supposed to be doing.

Oh, yeah. I mean, isn't that interesting? It's so fortuitous that when you started, when you started in law school, you had no idea it would end up here.

Yes. Right.

Yeah. I asked one of my attorneys yesterday that I had on the show. I'm like, what brought you into, you know, being into the law? She's like, it was a God thing. You know what I mean? It was like, it was just like it, you know, and it's. And it really is true. That's what I love about, and I say this all the time on the show is, is that it? What makes it worth it is the people that are in this space, typically, not always, but typically it's because they, they're coming from their own experience and they're going, okay, there's gotta be a better way. There's got to be. So it's a passion oriented industry, right?

Definitely.

Or work. So, so you, so you, because you couldn't afford to go to work, you ended up just starting your practice at home? I mean, did you go take the bar? Yeah.

Yes. I ended up starting my practice from home. Actual. The name of my firm was virtually Legal PA because I was virtual. I mean, I ran everything from home. Yeah. Like I said, height of COVID We're still quarantining, but I just felt like that is. That was part of my purpose, that that was where I was supposed to be doing what I was supposed to be doing. Even though, like I said, most of my law career, most of the time I was working in law firms, I always swore off criminal or family law and lo and behold, my experiences. Let me hear anyway.

Well, it's so funny because so many people, like, enter the legal field for the prestige and the paycheck, but you've consistently chosen this path for service and like, helping families in crisis. What. What does justice mean to you on a more human level, like beyond the, the courtrooms and stuff?

So when we think about justice in terms of a divorce, it's not really one of those situations where anybody's really walking away winning.

Right.

For me, the perspective that I take is I Want to leave my client in the best possible position I can after this divorce. I've been through it. I know what it looks like. Regardless of custody arrangements, visitation plans, you are now getting ready to master this world alone as a parent while you're still working full time, while you're still maybe processing mentally and going through the emotions of a. A failed marriage. So for me, justice is more so let me see how whole I can let this client be when they walk away from this marriage. And I think that's how we gotta look at it, because it's never a who won in a divorce, you know, it's never a contest when your marriage is ending. No one walks into a marriage expecting it to end. And it's, you know, it's definitely a traumatic experience for some people. So I want to help navigate that space with them, walk through it with them. I will admittedly say I probably get a little too personal with some cases because I've been there, you know. Yes, I'm a very candid person when I talk to clients. So I really talk to clients on their levels. And so my justice is, what is it that they want when they walk away? And I always ask my clients this. I say, if you could have everything you want out of this divorce, what would it look like?

Right?

And then we walk through trying to accomplish those things to the best of our abilities, with me educating them about the law as we go along. Because that was another piece that was important to me when I was doing that on divorces. I realized I just graduated from law school, but it didn't teach me what I need to know to even do my own divorce. And I'm about to be an attorney. So I make sure that when I'm talking to clients, I'm educating them on the law. I'm letting them know why we're doing something, why, oh, I want to do this or do that, and I'll tell the client, well, no, that's not a good idea. Here's why. And so educating these clients and helping them get to as close as I possibly can to their desired outcome and is my justice for it.

Yeah, I know yesterday on one of the parts podcasts with an attorney, we talked about this fact of knowing how important it is to know the lingo. And isn't that so amazing that you. You were just going through law school, but you still didn't know the lingo, you didn't know what you needed for. For divorce, because, I mean, there's so many different aspects of law, and that's one of the things. And I'm just going to direct people to the website, the beckysamson.com if you go to free. I do, I do provide people with 100 div. Divorce terms, legal divorce terms, so that if they can educate themselves on what that terms are, whether you have an attorney or not, you're going to be 10 times more educated and prepared to navigate through this. Because I just think that that is just really, really sad because if you don't know what you don't know, then you'll walk away from that. And so I also really like that you just brought up the fact that you're really for education and just kind of what I was taking. I used to be in real estate and I'd always say to people, look, I'm going to put you through Real Estate 101 before you even sign your name. You know what I mean? Like, I might take a little bit more time with you, but I want to make sure that you understand what you are signing. And a lot of people don't because they don't know what their rights are. It's great to work with an attorney to be able to say, look, this is what your rights are. And let's work towards, you know, rights versus what you want to. How you can make it a fair and equitable. I love that. Yeah. Because, because I think that. So. Sorry. One, one other thing that you just kind of sparked in me. You know, oftentimes I do say I won my case. However, I say that I won a fair and equitable division.

Exactly.

And that is what I, I think people need to know. But if they don't know what they're advocating for, they don't know if that's a win. But it needs to be a win win, you know?

Correct. Correct. And I feel like a lot of people come in with fantasies and I, I say that or maybe just like misconceived notions. They. Well, my friend told me this and well, Chat GPT told me this and on TV I saw this. So it's a, it's, you know, it's a matter of managing expectations. Expectations. And that's kind of why I also tie education in. So when we're talking about children, Well, I want 50, 50. I don't want him to see the kids that I want and I want, I want, I want. And so I was like, okay, well, let me explain how it works. First of all, Florida is a 50 when it comes to parental rights. It's 50, 50. So I'll even Guide them to a statute. Sometimes best interest factors tell people what a statute is.

They probably don't even know what that is.

So statutes are written laws on the books that tell us how something has to go. It says this is the law for this particular issue. It's etched in stone for the most part. Now, there's often exceptions sometimes, but I like my client to read best interest of the child factors. So you know what we're up against. You know what it's going to take to prove that you should have 100% custody. You know, the battle that we're going to face because 50, 50 is considered the standard. So in that process, as I'm talking to them and we're going through these factors, it's not just, it's a teaching moment. And there's like, oh, well, my friend said, like I said, like Jack Chat, GPT and AI now it can make the job difficult. So it's just a matter of managing expectations, tying into some education, and sometimes just making them see a realistic viewp.

Yeah, bring him back to her. Down to earth, right?

Yeah.

So one of the things that you also have dealt with was domestic violence. So if, if there are, there is a listener, someone that's listening, that's struggled with domestic violence and that, that's not just physical because I've, I've experienced physical and emotional. But the domestic violence, what are some, what's some advice that you would give them on how to navigate the legal system? You know, what to bring up, what not to bring up, when to bring it up, you know, that sort of thing.

So my first, my first encounter with domestic violence is, was in law school. That was my internship. I interned at the Compton courthouse in California and I helped fill out petitions for injunctions. I think what's important for people to know when they're doing this is to document things.

Yes.

And that's difficult. It is really difficult when you're in the middle of an abusive situation. You're not thinking, oh, let me document this, let me take photos, let me tell other people. Because what happens a lot of time is it's he say she say she's never told anybody before. She didn't take any pictures. She's never reported it to the police. And sometimes that could make it harder. Sometimes we can still make a case and it's, it's just fine. It just, you put yourself in a better position if there is more proof. If I had to give advice, I would say make a safe exit, make a plan, have a plan in place. That's not always possible for everyone. Sometimes the abuse is long term, sometimes it's sporadic out of nowhere. But the minute you realize this is the situation I'm in, start document and tell someone, put together, think in your mind, if I have to go to court, could I use this in court?

So people don't usually think that way. And, and I, I only say, well, yes, I should say so. My first marriage was physically abusive. I, I am very open to telling people that I was abusive to him as well. So it went both ways. However, I remember in my second divorce when I went for a tro. I, I really wish, because it took five months to that for that hearing or five different hearings in five, six months or whatever for them to rule on that. And by the time the fifth and sixth hearing, when she finally ruled on it, there was things that, that I brought up and she's like, well, you didn't put that in your initial, your initial TRO thing, so you can't bring it up. So yes, I, at that point I thought, where are the advocates? Like in the court system? So that when somebody's in total trauma, there's massive trauma, and you're going into filling out a tro. And TRO is a temporary restraining order. And so when you're filling that out, who's there to be like, look, you want to make sure you do this, this, this, this, because if you don't put it in this initial report, it's not going to be, you're not gonna be able to address it later on, even if it's five, six months down the road. And that was a huge wake up for me. I'm like, okay, where are the advocates? You know what I mean?

Yes. That's why I'm a component of document. I would rather you have a petition where you've thrown every incident in there that you could possibly think of that's happened in the last year, then only talk about one situation. Don't tell the judge about, been through with this person for the past year. Remember dates, if you can possibly remember dates.

Yes.

You know that's important on this date this happened. I would rather you throw more into your petition, especially because you never know what the judge is going to, to read into your petition. And the purpose generally is you want to show that you're, you fear this person or you're in imminent harm if something doesn't happen to you, if the order isn't granted for you. So take that time to tell that judge about everything this person has done or Said in the last year to give yourself a better chance because sometimes, and I've had it happen many times where I've had an injunction case and it only talks about like one incident. And the judge says, well, you know, it's kind of. He say, she say, I really don't know what happened in that house. Nobody else was there, there are no witnesses there. It was a one off. And because you didn't tell him about the fact that it's been going on for years or you give this judge any other indication, this judge only has this one snapshot to make a decision. And if he only has the one snapshot, you better make that snapshot really good and tight because you could walk away with no injunction. If the judge just feels like, oh, it's just, he say, she say, you said this, he said this. I don't really know who to believe, but if you come with evidence and you come with facts. On this day, I called the police, the police came. This is what he did here. The, you know, talk about your experiences when you fill out these injunctions and be as detailed as possible.

Oh, thank, thank you for saying, you know, the thought came to me was that, you know, if, if you find yourself in this situation where you're going to have to go fill out and some people use the tro, right. They abuse it as well in the court system. I mean that's. Unfortunately, it, it lessens the people who are really in danger. But however would you suggest also them just bring somebody with them that's a little bit more level head, remind them to say, hey, I just need you to go with me for support to make sure I get all the details in there or contact an attorney before you do it. I mean, I just, I was blown away five months later that I was like, what? Like nobody told me this.

Yeah. Yes. So I think in that sense, a lot of times I'll be at the courthouse and I'll walk into that office and there will be multiple people sitting there filling out their forms right there in the DV department for me, for me, I would be like the best place probably for you to do that is at home. Take your time filling out that injunction packet. Take your time, like I said, trying to lay out the facts of your case, preferably un. I would hope that it hasn't been a series of violent events, but if there has, let the judge know. Yeah, take your time because most of the time you're, I'm pretty sure they're emotional going through this process. Process. They probably didn't expect this person, that they're in some type of relationship to become violent. That's probably the last thing they ever thought. The last thing they thought was, I'm going to be here trying to file an injunction against somebody I once loved. So take your time filling out that packet. There are some self help departments at courthouses that can help you if you feel completely lost, 100%, go to the self help department of that courthouse and ask questions. They can't give you legal advice, but they can guide you. And that's going to be a starting point. If you can't hire an attorney, if you can hire an attorney, get one. Because there's going to be stuff that we're going to know to address that you might know. And I feel like self help forms at courthouses are very basic. I feel like sometimes they can leave off important questions because you're just kind of checking off boxes. Yeah, this happened, this happened. And an attorney might have insight that you don't have based on a case that that attorney has worked. So let's say, for instance, I have a case today and something happens in the court and I'm like, have an aha moment. I'm never going to forget that moment. I'm now going to incorporate what I learned in future cases. But if you're pro se, you've never, you're not in the courthouse, you don't know what to do, you don't know what extras to throw in there. And so you're left with whatever the form asks you. So get a consult. A lot of law firms give free consults. At least talk to someone, ask, you know, should I put this in the petition? Should I not? Generally, you want to keep the petition to things that have happened, say within the last one to two years. Even two years can, can be a little old. But you want to make sure you're not talking about something that happened 10 years ago.

Right.

So you want to make sure whatever you're putting in a petition is based on actions that are happening now or have happened very recent to you filing that petition.

Yeah, and thank you for bringing up the whole self help too, because I, I got to know my self help people very, very well. Like I, I know they couldn't give me advice. However they, they're, they're there to help you fill out the paperwork if you have questions about the paperwork. And, and I, I didn't represent myself because I wanted to. I was in a situation where I had to, and so I had to find the resources and every state has resources that you can reach out to and, and talk to people about, you know, what's right, what's not. I love that you brought up the consult consult, because there's a lot of attorneys that will do a free consult. However, I also recommend that you get their information, know what their retainer is, you know, keep a record of that so that you're showing them respect for the time that they've given you as well. If you do get to the point where you're going to hire an attorney, that's what I did. Because I, I, I knew when I came for me to hire an attorney, I knew exactly who I wanted to use because I had done my research and, and he was great. So I, for you, I know that you probably deal with and so thank you so much for sharing that information for you. When you're guiding clients, when they're really overwhelmed with all of this stuff, what, what is the, you know, what do you tell them? Like, where do you start? Like, what are the things that I know documentation is very, very important, but how to deal with the overwhelm. Because you've been there, right? I mean, eight kids, my goodness, law school and everything like that. You're like, okay, what's one of the first things that you tell them to do and continue to help them through that process.

So for each client is very different. Like I said, I'm very down to earth with clients. I meet them where they're at. And there are often times when I will share personal experience. Hey, I've been through that. This is what I did. Sometimes they need to hear that because they look at you as just a professional. They don't know this person, I'm hiring him to do this job. They don't know what it's like. Yeah, I do. I've been there. So I'm going to tell you not only what I need you to do legally, but I want to watch out for. What are you posting on social media? That's going to be important. You know, some of those things can be used in, in court against you. Don't start arguing back and forth with this other person. You now have an attorney. Let your attorney handle the conversations. I start to guide them because I want them to do not only what's best for them, but what's going to make sure nothing derails their case. I want to make sure they don't get in their own way.

Yeah.

So I, I will give them instructions. I generally give them a step by step. Okay. And after A conversation. Let's say we have a client meeting. After that meeting, I'm going to, going to regroup and I'm going to say, okay, so I'm going to do A, B and C. You're going to follow up and do 1, 2, 3. So we know what each other's responsibilities are because I need them to also participate in their own case. I need you to get this document for me and get this document. Let me see it. Tell me what happened. Be as brutally honest, tell me what you did as well. So if I have to ask questions that I, you know, I'm not blindsided in court because you didn't mention that you punched him first or, you know, whatever the case may be. So that conversation often looks like education. Me understanding where they're coming from, me letting them know I've been here. I know what this feels like, I know what this looks like. And so, yeah, the conversation is different with every client. Some are very open and receptive and great. Others, others aren't they, they've been to the Internet and chat. GPT says they're going to win. So I want you to do what GPT told me to do. And that's not always the case because using it's a tool. It's a tool that can be great, it can be helpful. But one of the biggest problems that we're facing in the legal field using it is it'll print out information, it'll even cite cases.

Yeah.

And tell you, well, this is what happened in this case. But come to find out those cases don't actually exist. They were made up by AI.

I. I always say, if you're going to use ChatGPT, always verify it. Right. Like if you ask it something, at least go say, give me the exact statute and then go to the statute and read the statute. Correct. You know, and, and make sure that it's because, you know, it is kind of something that a lot of people are turning to for answers. But I can definitely see the challenge. Challenge of it. You know, kind of as we're. We're wrapping up and first of all, thank you for, for what you do and the passion. I can definitely tell that when people work with you, you're an advocate for them, which is it sometimes can be hard to find and to weave through that. So I definitely encourage people to reach out. But kind of as we're wrapping up, if you could just sum up your message to anyone walking through divorce in one sentence, like, what would it be?

It gets better. It may take some Time, but, but it gets better. I love the stories of triumph after a divorce. It doesn't matter if you're men, it doesn't matter if you're a woman. It's a process that can be really traumatic for some people. Like I said, no one goes into a marriage expecting you're going to get a divorce. It can weigh on you heavily. What I see a lot is I see where that love has now turned into hate.

Yeah.

I see where now these children are being used as pawns basically over how much child support do I want to pay that. That is a down. I feel, I feel like for me that's the downside of my job is I want what's best not just for you, but for the children as well.

Yep.

I want, I'm not gonna always tell my client, 50, 50, get 5050 because you pay less child support. No. Make the best decision for this child.

Yep.

Do you real. Can you really realistically show up for them? 50, 50. Can you realistically take them to the doctor's appointments? Show up at schools when you have 50, 50, you're full time parent. Can you realistically take that on by yourself? It's difficult process sometimes. Co parenting with another person can be crazy.

Yeah.

But just know, I promise you it's going to get better. It may take some time. There's going to be some tears, there's going to be some attorney bills, there's going to be court hearings. And I know you feel so frustrated and defeated right now, especially those of you who are representing yourself. But I promise you it does get better. Reach out for resources. Call self help. Like I said, get consoles if you can't afford an attorney. Keep an open mind. Don't assume everything you hear on the Internet is facts. Do as much research as you can. I, I would even say go to a lie lobbery and kind of see if they have any family law books because if you're representing yourself, you're going to be held to the same standard as attorney. So you got to need to know what you need to know and what you're supposed to do.

I, I actually did that Charniece. I mean that was one of. It's so funny because my mom watches these podcasts and she went through that whole journey with me pro se and, and it was her idea to go to the law library and when I was at a specific, dealing with a specific part of my case, which a lot of people think that, oh, I get a settlement. Well, just because you get a settlement doesn't Mean, you get paid, right? So I had to enforce that payment. And so I did a lot of research. We went to the law library, and she's like, becky, make sure people know that they can go to the law library. And I went there, and the guy directed me to an exact book that I needed to go to, which normally is just. That area is for actual attorneys. And so I found exactly what I needed. I looked at the person who wrote the book. I then got on the phone, called the guy, and he happened to be one of the only attorneys in the whole state that I was in, you know, enforcing this, that knew what I was trying to do. And, and he, he actually didn't charge me and, and help me through the process because I told him my own story. He's like, oh, Becky. And 10 o' clock at night, he's responding to my text. You know, my email is going, do this, don't do this, do that. You know what I mean? And so you never know. You know, the more you educate your. The more you reach out, the more you ask. There are resources out there. You just have to be willing to do the heavy lifting, to advocate. But, but I, I also really appreciate that you. You say it does get better because I always tell people this is a temporary state. I mean, I'm sure you wanted to give up when you had eight kids and all over the place with COVID and trying to get your law degree and trying to get this thing closed. I mean, it does get better. I love that message. To be able to. To. To let and leave people. And so here's a question. I mean, are you remarried now?

No. No. No.

You're still. You're still on the market?

I'm dating. I'm dating. You know that even though that's a whole nother ball game.

I. Hey, we could have. You know, that would be an interesting. Because so I always say divorcing strong because you want to come out of it stronger so that you can be ready for the next. I. I happen to be married for the third time, very happily married to my sweet husband. Never thought it was going to happen, so. But the, the more. Yeah, we should do a whole episode just on dating after divorce. Like, that's.

Yes, 100.

Oh, well, thank you so much, Charnice, for coming on and, and really stepping into this field with such passion and precision. I'm gonna say precision because like you said, every situation is a little bit different, and it takes strategy for you to be able to show up the best for your clients. So I'll make sure I have your contact information in the show notes so you can reach out to Sharnice. I'm sure she. If you're in Florida, right? That's the only place. Yes. So thank you so much for coming on the show today. And hang, hang on just one second. We'll just wrap it up. All right. Thank you guys for joining us on another episode of Divorcing Strong.

Wow.

What an amazing story. I just, I really am. I. I genuinely say this every single day, that it's just the coolest thing that I get to do to connect with people that are passionate and to be able to bring resources and people to you, because you just never know who these podcasts and these resources are going to touch. So make sure reach out and also get my freebie that I. That I have on my website, beckysampson.com go to free download. I think it's a cheat sheet and it's a hundred divorce terms so that you can navigate your divorce more knowledgeable, because knowledge is power. So thank you for joining us today and we'll talk to you soon. Stay strong. Thanks for listening to the Divorcing Strong podcast. This episode is sponsored by only subpoenas, where we make subpoenas simple, powerful, and 100% compliant. If you're having a hard time getting the information you need to settle for a fair and equitable divorce, let us help you. Whether you're an attorney or you're navigating divorce on your own, subpoenas can uncover the truth, secure the evidence you need, and level the playing field. To see how we can help, book an appointment by visiting our [email protected].