S1:E22 – Rebuilding After Divorce: A Psychotherapist's 5-Stage Roadmap for Women | Oona Metz
Rebuilding after divorce starts with one truth: you have to FEEL it to heal it. In this episode, psychotherapist Oona Metz — author of "Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women" and a 30-year veteran of divorce recovery support — shares her 5-Stage Roadmap for healing after divorce, and why skipping even one stage will keep you emotionally stuck long after the papers are signed.
Oona has spent 15 years running in-person divorce support groups for women. She didn't just study grief after divorce — she lived it. Her personal experience, combined with three decades of clinical expertise, gives this episode a rare combination: professional credibility and raw, honest vulnerability that will make you feel less alone in every stage of your process.
Host Becky Sampson, CEO of Only Subpoenas™, brings her own powerful story — losing 130 pounds, leaving her career, and navigating divorce in the same month — to this conversation about divorce recovery for women, emotional healing, and what it truly means to be Divorcing Strong.
IN THIS EPISODE, YOU'LL DISCOVER:
✅ Oona's 5 Stages of Divorce Grief — and the exact warning signs you're skipping one
✅ Why "The Rollercoaster" is the longest stage and how to survive it without burning out your support system
✅ The self-care practices that don't cost a dime (and why perfectionism makes it worse)
✅ The one thing Oona wished she had during her own divorce — and how it changed her entire career
✅ How to communicate with a high-conflict ex — the BIFF method, Our Family Wizard, and the "separate email box" strategy
✅ How to draft every message to your ex as if a judge will read it — because they might
✅ How language shapes your divorce outcome — and the "peace linguistics" approach that can protect you legally and emotionally
✅ Why "letting go" doesn't mean forgetting — it means freeing up your energy for YOU 2.0
✅ The moment Becky knew she had to rebuild her whole life — and what finally gave her permission to start
OONA'S 5 STAGES OF DIVORCE GRIEF:
- Heartbreak — The loss of dreams, promises, and identity
- The Rollercoaster — Unpredictable emotions triggered by dates, places, and even weather
- Mending — Shifting focus from your ex to yourself
- Letting Go — Releasing your ex, the narrative, expectations, and old identity
- Moving On — Investing your energy into the new version of your life 6.
MEMORABLE QUOTE:
"When somebody is strong, somebody is willing to ask for help. Asking for help does not mean you are weak — it means you are strong." — Oona Metz
"You have to feel it to heal it." — Oona Metz
ABOUT OONA METZ: Oona Metz is a licensed psychotherapist with over 30 years of clinical experience specializing in divorce recovery for women. She is the founder of a long-running divorce support group program and the author of "Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women," your comprehensive roadmap for healing after divorce — from heartbreak to becoming the boldest version of yourself. Having navigated her own divorce, Oona brings both professional expertise and deeply personal insight to every conversation about life after divorce.
OONA'S RESOURCES:
📗 "Unhitched: The Essential Divorce Guide for Women" — https://www.amazon.com/Unhitched-Essential-Divorce-Guide-Women/dp/1668075385
🔗 Connect with Oona Metz — https://www.linkedin.com/in/oona-metz-licsw-cgp-6a14a41b/
https://www.linkedin.com/in/oona-metz-licsw-cgp-6a14a41b/
BECKY'S FREE RESOURCE:
📘 100 Divorce Terms You Need to Know — https://onlysubpoenas.com/free
🔗 Only Subpoenas™ — https://onlysubpoenas.com/
🎧About Divorcing Strong™ Podcast:
Hosted by Becky Sampson, CEO of Only Subpoenas™, the Divorcing Strong™ Podcast is where real stories meet real strategies for surviving and thriving through divorce. Each episode brings expert insights from top divorce attorneys, family law specialists, financial planners, and healing coaches to help you protect your rights and step into YOU 2.0.
👉 Subscribe for more empowering divorce stories and strategies
👉 Learn more about working with Becky: https://beckysampson.com/
👉 Follow Becky on social media:
BECKY SAMPSON
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/divorcingstrongbeckysampson/
Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/beckysampson11/
TikTok: https://www.tiktok.com/@divorcingstrong
YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@DivorcingStrong
LinkedIn: https://www.linkedin.com/in/beckysampson/
🌺For information on working with Only Subpoenas™, visit our website at https://onlysubpoenas.com/ or contact us at this number: 650-910-6659 🌺
⚠️ DISCLAIMER: The content on this podcast is for educational and informational purposes only and does not constitute legal, financial, or mental health advice. Please consult a licensed attorney, financial advisor, or mental health professional for guidance specific to your situation. If you or someone you know is experiencing abuse, please get in touch with the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.
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#DivorcingStrong #HealingAfterDivorce #DivorceRecovery
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